Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
