he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
