Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
