batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
