I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
