I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i came on her dog
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
