If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
