The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
