new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
