I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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