MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
