is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my shit smells like andre
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
