Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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