do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
