so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
