Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
