so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize