my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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