I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize