btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
