So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I deserve this hangover.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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