I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
