I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
