Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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