I wish I could teleport
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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