I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
