PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
