she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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