His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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