Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
