You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
