I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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