She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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