Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
