i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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