when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You smell like stripper and shame
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
