He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
