So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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