Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
