I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
