I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
