I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
