I want to have your abortion
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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