dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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