Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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