u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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