There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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