hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
