You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
