Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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