hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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