do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
