he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize