if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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