I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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