remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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