Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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