I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
