how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
