I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
