Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
